How gay is G-A-Y??

So my net has been gone for MOST of today (I was nearly in tears!) and there was nothing interesting (as usual) on TV. So I phone a friend and we decide to go out for a few drinks...to G-A-Y of all places! Don't judge me for it..but it's £1.60 per drink, so I wasn't complaining!.

But my god! How camp is it?! I walked in there and was accosted by a load of screaming queens! Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against feminine/camp guys...they've got more balls than I have to be the way they are in public. But seriously, I've been going to G-A-Y for a long time now and it only just hit me, as to how properly gay it is!

It seems that people fall into 4 categories in this place..

A) Screaming queen, with a man bag, and enough make up to get it under your fingernails and knows every dance move to a Steps video.

B) The fag hag. Dressed like she's on the pull (in a gay bar???) and seems to love every gay boy who walks past her. .(for any Americish people here, if you're wondering what a fag hag is, just think of Grace from Will and Grace!

C) The "straight acting" gay guy who wants to be there, but doesn't quite want to show that he's enjoying himself too much.

And last but not least, D) Lesbians. Nothing much to say after that.

I'm kind of slowly but gradually being put off the gay scene in London. I like a gay venue, because I like to be able to think that I can kiss the guy I'm with (if I get the urge) without getting silly looks from the straights. But it seems like any decent gay venue is either too expensive (you'd have to re-mortgage your house to have a decent night out), or they're closing down!.

Time Out Magazine recently named Vauxhall as "London's hedonist hotspot": "For all the debauchery-friendly criteria it meets, Vauxhall is no longer home to London's hip gay dance scene", decent venue's like Soho's Profile are soon to close down. The gay scene is slowly becoming a very small, concentrated area, known as G-A-Y.

So I make it my mission. To find at least 3 decent venues in London, where I am not surrounded by screaming queens or fag hags, I can hear myself speak and don't have to worry about some drunk little boy spilling his drink over me.

This is going to be one HELL of a mission!