OK so due to unforseen circumstances (mainly being kicked out of the parental home), I haven't had access to the internet, so I've not been able to have my usual outbursts on here!
So a quick life update. Yes you did read correctly..I was kicked out of the parental home...LITERALLY! So I've now moved to an area full of Old Age Pensioners and the typical family unit of 2.4 children. It's weird, but I'm closer to one of my best friends which is always good.
Let me explain the situation. I was asked for some money, I didn't have it. We argued. I threatened to leave. The mother said get out then. The end.
So I sat down one day thinking about how my life has turned out and how I possibly could've changed it. I only lived with my mother (parents seperated a while back now) and as a pair, we had been through A LOT together.
We both supported each other in difficult times. We both stayed up till 4am talking and having heart to hearts and crying (with bottles of wine surrounding us). We also had a lot of fun together as mother and son. My mother is like a sister to me.
So now she has kicked me out. Permanently. Which is a scary thought. I told my best friend about the situation and he said to me that I should cut my mum out of my life. I disagreed. He then said that I'm acting like a child and I'm "waiting to crawl back to mummy". Yes what she has done is not nice AT ALL, but my mother is not cruel. She raised me for most of my life. I never wanted for anything in my life either. I can't just cut her off like that. Our friendship was almost over because of the conversation (there was a lot more to it).
My friend seems to think that me cutting my mother out of my life will help me to stand on my own two feet. Yes it would help me, but the fact of the matter is she is my mother. I've lived with her for most of my 21 years of life and she means the world to me. And I only get one mother.
Am I wrong in thinking like that? Is my friend right in thinking that I'm acting like a child? Am I just looking for sympathy? I don't think this is the case. What I merely need from my friends at a time like this is support.
And since this has happened, my mother and I are now on talking terms. I'm actually at the house right now and I'm staying for the night before going back to West London. Our relationship is still the same in the sense that we get on, however we have given eachother space.
I don't know what to think about the situation. Have you ever been through a similar situation? Have you done what my friend suggested and cut certain family members out of your life? What makes it so easy for you to do that??
Fingers hurt now from typing I think, but I needed to get it all off my chest!
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4 days ago
2 comments:
I cut off my family (or I was cut off from my family, depending on your point of view) because of severe abuse. But even with that, it wasn't easy. It's a bond that's hard to break!
Sounds like you otherwise have a healthy relationship with your mother. Perhaps you two have come to a natural fork in the path, where living apart might actually improve on the relationship. Doesn't mean you cut your mom off completely. She'll adjust to living without you in near proximity, and vice versa.
Well this is the point I was trying to get across to my friend.
A bond with your mother is something that is very hard to break, no matter how angry you may feel.
The relatinoship I have with my mother is something that I cannot and don't really want to break.
Cuttning my parents off ultimately will mean cutting of a lot of my family.
My family mean too much to me to do that.
Like you say Dusty, we've come to a natural fork in our relationship, where it is now time for me to fly the nest.
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