OMG You're sooo short!!

I'm SICK and TIRED of people saying this to me! "OMG, you're so short!" NO SHIT SHERLOCK!

I'm 5'5.5 (that half an inch REALLY does count). But please please please stop telling me something that I already know!

It's like going up to someone and saying "OMG, you're a man!"..ain't that the truth?!

Why is it that as humans, we feel the need to comment on the obvious. Think we don't know what we look like? Think we don't know we have brown/blue/green eyes?

Get a grip people!!

Moan over :)

Hit The Road Jack

OK so due to unforseen circumstances (mainly being kicked out of the parental home), I haven't had access to the internet, so I've not been able to have my usual outbursts on here!

So a quick life update. Yes you did read correctly..I was kicked out of the parental home...LITERALLY! So I've now moved to an area full of Old Age Pensioners and the typical family unit of 2.4 children. It's weird, but I'm closer to one of my best friends which is always good.

Let me explain the situation. I was asked for some money, I didn't have it. We argued. I threatened to leave. The mother said get out then. The end.

So I sat down one day thinking about how my life has turned out and how I possibly could've changed it. I only lived with my mother (parents seperated a while back now) and as a pair, we had been through A LOT together.

We both supported each other in difficult times. We both stayed up till 4am talking and having heart to hearts and crying (with bottles of wine surrounding us). We also had a lot of fun together as mother and son. My mother is like a sister to me.

So now she has kicked me out. Permanently. Which is a scary thought. I told my best friend about the situation and he said to me that I should cut my mum out of my life. I disagreed. He then said that I'm acting like a child and I'm "waiting to crawl back to mummy". Yes what she has done is not nice AT ALL, but my mother is not cruel. She raised me for most of my life. I never wanted for anything in my life either. I can't just cut her off like that. Our friendship was almost over because of the conversation (there was a lot more to it).

My friend seems to think that me cutting my mother out of my life will help me to stand on my own two feet. Yes it would help me, but the fact of the matter is she is my mother. I've lived with her for most of my 21 years of life and she means the world to me. And I only get one mother.

Am I wrong in thinking like that? Is my friend right in thinking that I'm acting like a child? Am I just looking for sympathy? I don't think this is the case. What I merely need from my friends at a time like this is support.

And since this has happened, my mother and I are now on talking terms. I'm actually at the house right now and I'm staying for the night before going back to West London. Our relationship is still the same in the sense that we get on, however we have given eachother space.
I don't know what to think about the situation. Have you ever been through a similar situation? Have you done what my friend suggested and cut certain family members out of your life? What makes it so easy for you to do that??

Fingers hurt now from typing I think, but I needed to get it all off my chest!

Too Honest With Yourself??

I've always wondered about this. If you can ever be too honest with yourself. You know how I mean. For example, you finally admit to yourself, the feelings you have for a certain someone. But you don't want to admit it really, and you end up getting hurt. That theory of "wearing your heart on your sleeve". I say this because many times have I admitted things to myself and regret ever thinking about it. It just messes with my head and something happens for me to get hurt. This is a short one, but maybe sometimes it's best to keep some of these thoughts to the back of your mind? Had you not admitted these feelings, could things have been different? Can being too honest with yourself, somehow make matters so much harder for you?

Friends Seem to Come and Go

I should seriously be in bed right now, but my soul is restless. I've spent the last hour or so crying my eyes out. It's been somewhat of a crazy week for me. I've had my ups (like getting a new job) but also had my downs (which I won't go into right now), but it seems that it's now all taken it's toll on me and I need to release. But my main thought has been about friends. And I'm talking about people that you consider your true true friends.

I've heard from friends that I haven't heard from in a long long time, which is fantastic. But I've also felt like I'm loosing some friends. Friends that mean the world to me. Friends that I would do anything for. And it was today while YouTube-ing away that I found this video below, and for some reason really touched my heart. We all have close friends. But in your time of need, who is the one that is really there?

How gay is G-A-Y??

So my net has been gone for MOST of today (I was nearly in tears!) and there was nothing interesting (as usual) on TV. So I phone a friend and we decide to go out for a few drinks...to G-A-Y of all places! Don't judge me for it..but it's £1.60 per drink, so I wasn't complaining!.

But my god! How camp is it?! I walked in there and was accosted by a load of screaming queens! Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against feminine/camp guys...they've got more balls than I have to be the way they are in public. But seriously, I've been going to G-A-Y for a long time now and it only just hit me, as to how properly gay it is!

It seems that people fall into 4 categories in this place..

A) Screaming queen, with a man bag, and enough make up to get it under your fingernails and knows every dance move to a Steps video.

B) The fag hag. Dressed like she's on the pull (in a gay bar???) and seems to love every gay boy who walks past her. .(for any Americish people here, if you're wondering what a fag hag is, just think of Grace from Will and Grace!

C) The "straight acting" gay guy who wants to be there, but doesn't quite want to show that he's enjoying himself too much.

And last but not least, D) Lesbians. Nothing much to say after that.

I'm kind of slowly but gradually being put off the gay scene in London. I like a gay venue, because I like to be able to think that I can kiss the guy I'm with (if I get the urge) without getting silly looks from the straights. But it seems like any decent gay venue is either too expensive (you'd have to re-mortgage your house to have a decent night out), or they're closing down!.

Time Out Magazine recently named Vauxhall as "London's hedonist hotspot": "For all the debauchery-friendly criteria it meets, Vauxhall is no longer home to London's hip gay dance scene", decent venue's like Soho's Profile are soon to close down. The gay scene is slowly becoming a very small, concentrated area, known as G-A-Y.

So I make it my mission. To find at least 3 decent venues in London, where I am not surrounded by screaming queens or fag hags, I can hear myself speak and don't have to worry about some drunk little boy spilling his drink over me.

This is going to be one HELL of a mission!

OK I Lied..

Yes, I lied to you all. For all us UK-ers out there, it turns out the YouTube have blocked ALL music videos (US included) from us. All you Americish people are perfectly fine (for now), yet we Englands are having our entertainment taken away from us...What a f***ing liberty!!

YouTube to Take Down Official UK Music Videos

Today is a very sad day for those of us who love to download music videos from YouTube. The BBC have reported that they are to take down all official UK videos after failing to reach an agreement with the Performing Right Society.

Videos are being blocked starting from today so by tomorrow, they will be no more. YouTube which is owned by search engine Google, says that the move is "regrettable". So regrettable that they're going to do it anyway!

So this is it. The end of it all. Us music video watchers are going to have to find somewhere else to watch these videos. When you do find one, let me know where!!.

And just for you guys, I have decided to put up a music video (while we still can!).

Enjoy!!