Life's Like....

OMG You're sooo short!!

2009-04-01T06:10:00.000-07:00

I'm SICK and TIRED of people saying this to me! "OMG, you're so short!" NO SHIT SHERLOCK!

I'm 5'5.5 (that half an inch REALLY does count). But please please please stop telling me something that I already know!

It's like going up to someone and saying "OMG, you're a man!"..ain't that the truth?!

Why is it that as humans, we feel the need to comment on the obvious. Think we don't know what we look like? Think we don't know we have brown/blue/green eyes?

Get a grip people!!

Moan over :)

Hit The Road Jack

2009-03-31T15:46:00.000-07:00

OK so due to unforseen circumstances (mainly being kicked out of the parental home), I haven't had access to the internet, so I've not been able to have my usual outbursts on here!

So a quick life update. Yes you did read correctly..I was kicked out of the parental home...LITERALLY! So I've now moved to an area full of Old Age Pensioners and the typical family unit of 2.4 children. It's weird, but I'm closer to one of my best friends which is always good.

Let me explain the situation. I was asked for some money, I didn't have it. We argued. I threatened to leave. The mother said get out then. The end.

So I sat down one day thinking about how my life has turned out and how I possibly could've changed it. I only lived with my mother (parents seperated a while back now) and as a pair, we had been through A LOT together.

We both supported each other in difficult times. We both stayed up till 4am talking and having heart to hearts and crying (with bottles of wine surrounding us). We also had a lot of fun together as mother and son. My mother is like a sister to me.

So now she has kicked me out. Permanently. Which is a scary thought. I told my best friend about the situation and he said to me that I should cut my mum out of my life. I disagreed. He then said that I'm acting like a child and I'm "waiting to crawl back to mummy". Yes what she has done is not nice AT ALL, but my mother is not cruel. She raised me for most of my life. I never wanted for anything in my life either. I can't just cut her off like that. Our friendship was almost over because of the conversation (there was a lot more to it).

My friend seems to think that me cutting my mother out of my life will help me to stand on my own two feet. Yes it would help me, but the fact of the matter is she is my mother. I've lived with her for most of my 21 years of life and she means the world to me. And I only get one mother.

Am I wrong in thinking like that? Is my friend right in thinking that I'm acting like a child? Am I just looking for sympathy? I don't think this is the case. What I merely need from my friends at a time like this is support.

And since this has happened, my mother and I are now on talking terms. I'm actually at the house right now and I'm staying for the night before going back to West London. Our relationship is still the same in the sense that we get on, however we have given eachother space.
I don't know what to think about the situation. Have you ever been through a similar situation? Have you done what my friend suggested and cut certain family members out of your life? What makes it so easy for you to do that??

Fingers hurt now from typing I think, but I needed to get it all off my chest!

Too Honest With Yourself??

2009-03-14T19:34:00.001-07:00

I've always wondered about this. If you can ever be too honest with yourself. You know how I mean. For example, you finally admit to yourself, the feelings you have for a certain someone. But you don't want to admit it really, and you end up getting hurt. That theory of "wearing your heart on your sleeve". I say this because many times have I admitted things to myself and regret ever thinking about it. It just messes with my head and something happens for me to get hurt. This is a short one, but maybe sometimes it's best to keep some of these thoughts to the back of your mind? Had you not admitted these feelings, could things have been different? Can being too honest with yourself, somehow make matters so much harder for you?

Friends Seem to Come and Go

2009-03-12T19:38:00.000-07:00

I should seriously be in bed right now, but my soul is restless. I've spent the last hour or so crying my eyes out. It's been somewhat of a crazy week for me. I've had my ups (like getting a new job) but also had my downs (which I won't go into right now), but it seems that it's now all taken it's toll on me and I need to release. But my main thought has been about friends. And I'm talking about people that you consider your true true friends.

I've heard from friends that I haven't heard from in a long long time, which is fantastic. But I've also felt like I'm loosing some friends. Friends that mean the world to me. Friends that I would do anything for. And it was today while YouTube-ing away that I found this video below, and for some reason really touched my heart. We all have close friends. But in your time of need, who is the one that is really there?

How gay is G-A-Y??

2009-03-10T21:04:00.000-07:00

So my net has been gone for MOST of today (I was nearly in tears!) and there was nothing interesting (as usual) on TV. So I phone a friend and we decide to go out for a few drinks...to G-A-Y of all places! Don't judge me for it..but it's £1.60 per drink, so I wasn't complaining!.

But my god! How camp is it?! I walked in there and was accosted by a load of screaming queens! Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against feminine/camp guys...they've got more balls than I have to be the way they are in public. But seriously, I've been going to G-A-Y for a long time now and it only just hit me, as to how properly gay it is!

It seems that people fall into 4 categories in this place..

A) Screaming queen, with a man bag, and enough make up to get it under your fingernails and knows every dance move to a Steps video.

B) The fag hag. Dressed like she's on the pull (in a gay bar???) and seems to love every gay boy who walks past her. .(for any Americish people here, if you're wondering what a fag hag is, just think of Grace from Will and Grace!

C) The "straight acting" gay guy who wants to be there, but doesn't quite want to show that he's enjoying himself too much.

And last but not least, D) Lesbians. Nothing much to say after that.

I'm kind of slowly but gradually being put off the gay scene in London. I like a gay venue, because I like to be able to think that I can kiss the guy I'm with (if I get the urge) without getting silly looks from the straights. But it seems like any decent gay venue is either too expensive (you'd have to re-mortgage your house to have a decent night out), or they're closing down!.

Time Out Magazine recently named Vauxhall as "London's hedonist hotspot": "For all the debauchery-friendly criteria it meets, Vauxhall is no longer home to London's hip gay dance scene", decent venue's like Soho's Profile are soon to close down. The gay scene is slowly becoming a very small, concentrated area, known as G-A-Y.

So I make it my mission. To find at least 3 decent venues in London, where I am not surrounded by screaming queens or fag hags, I can hear myself speak and don't have to worry about some drunk little boy spilling his drink over me.

This is going to be one HELL of a mission!

OK I Lied..

2009-03-09T16:55:00.000-07:00

Yes, I lied to you all. For all us UK-ers out there, it turns out the YouTube have blocked ALL music videos (US included) from us. All you Americish people are perfectly fine (for now), yet we Englands are having our entertainment taken away from us...What a f***ing liberty!!

YouTube to Take Down Official UK Music Videos

2009-03-09T11:36:00.000-07:00

Today is a very sad day for those of us who love to download music videos from YouTube. The BBC have reported that they are to take down all official UK videos after failing to reach an agreement with the Performing Right Society.

Videos are being blocked starting from today so by tomorrow, they will be no more. YouTube which is owned by search engine Google, says that the move is "regrettable". So regrettable that they're going to do it anyway!

So this is it. The end of it all. Us music video watchers are going to have to find somewhere else to watch these videos. When you do find one, let me know where!!.

And just for you guys, I have decided to put up a music video (while we still can!).

Enjoy!!

Well this is a film!

2009-03-08T09:40:00.000-07:00

OK, so I watched an amazing film last night. A German film actually. Never been one for German films, but this one got my attention.

Summer Storm ('Sommersturm') is a German coming-of-age film written and directed by Marco Kruezpaintner, starring Robert Stadlober. The film chronicles a week in a rowing regatta where the main character, Tobi (Stadlober) questions the depth of his feelings for best friend Achim (Kostja Ullmann) whilst attempting to juggle a "normal" relationship with girlfriend Anke (Alicja Bachleda-Curus). Tobi's confusion is exacerbated with the arrival of rowing team 'The Queerstrokes', who are all out and proud, and an impending summer storm.u

Despite an occasional music video feel, specifically a cheesy music sequence of the landscape, Kruezpaintner employs some rather striking shots in the film. From a fallen tree, literally isolating Tobi from everyone; to Tobi letting loose and jumping off a lake dock, and, to the actual 'summer storm', Kruezpaintner displays intelligent visual metaphors for the internal confusion and fear that builds up within Tobi.

Even more impressive are the performances, with Stadlober perhaps channelling his own experiences (he is openly bisexual) into the difficult, and sometimes selfish, character of Tobi. Also notable is Marlon Kittel's courageous and poignant performance as Leo, the 'Queerstrokes' member who helps Tobi accept his sexuality.

What is most surprising about Summer Storm, however, is how it is perhaps aimed just as much towards Queer Film Festival critics as it is to teens. It is both a teen dramedy with honest performances and sensitive direction, and a foreign art-house flick housing a killer soundtrack and frat-boy culture.

All involved should be congratulated on presenting a film that is both honest with the psyche of homosexual teenagers, whilst still accessible enough to appeal to most (mature) audiences. A definite winner!

Shunned, Shunned and shunned again...

2009-03-06T17:09:00.000-08:00

Don't you just HATE it when it happens? Not just once either...and by the same person! Yes I'm bitter, yes I'm holding a grudge and yes I'm airing it all to the rest of the world! I blame the bottle of wine next to my laptop for this outrage :)

I'm an Addict!

2009-03-06T14:16:00.000-08:00

Ha, knew that would get your attention. But seriously I think I have an addiction. To the net! So I've been "net-less" for about 2 weeks. The only access I had was through my phone to go on MSN, but that was actually a waste of time as I kept getting cut off every 5 minutes.

I have felt SOO cut off from the world it's unreal! How on earth did we survive without the internet? Before the net it was phonecalls, letters oh and actually seeing people.

I have a friend (yes I do have them), well actually a best friend; I have withdrawal symptoms when I don't speak to him for a few days. He was meant to call me one day, and then another day, and then another. I didn't hear from him. I then speak to him online on the rare day that my phone decides to connect and he says "I'm not a phone person". Not a phone person??? What's that all about?? How do "non-phone" people survive? How did they survive when they couldn't text or email or facebook? Have you noticed that nowadays when you go out and meet someone, it's never "What's your phone number?" it's now "What's your Fcebook/Twitter/GaydarMyspace/Email?" the list goes on!.

I have a feeling that in a few generations time, the world will be full of "non-phone" people and phones will be nothing but a time in history.

I found myself getting almost depressed because I couldn't catch up on the latest satus updates of my "friends" on Facebook. I couldn't check my emails, and of course I couldn't write on my blog! So I've now admitted to myself that I am an addict. I've made the first step to a recovery.
I've decided that it's time for me to find something else to fill my time with other than just the net! If the whole net decides to just die one day what on earth would we do at 2 o'clock on a Wednesday night?

So I decided to go through my collection of books. Some I completed, some that look like they should still be on the shelf in the store I bought it in and some that I got bored off at the penultimate chapter. So that is now my new hobby. Reading. I aim to read a book a week (maybe more). I have so many books that I need to delve into, that it should stop me from being addicted to this thing they call the net!

I just hope I don't end up with yet another vice and then loose all control!

HOLIDAY!

2009-02-27T09:20:00.000-08:00

OK. No blogs for a while boys and girls! NO NET! :(

Back in a few weeks!

xx

You Guys Will Probably Hate me After This.

2009-02-19T17:31:00.000-08:00

But I have to say something. About Jade Goody. I didn't want to go into it, because we see it in the papers EVERYDAY. But there's something about the way this girl is doing things that is so tacky.

She has cancer and got it real bad at a hell of a young age. I 100% sympathise with that. She's leaving behind 2 VERY young children who are not going to have their mother with them. I have nothing but sympathy for the situation.

As anyone else would be, she has decided she wants to make the best future for her children and continue working. Since appearing on Big Brother in 2002, she has been known as a British Celebrity (yes she might be a Z- lister, but a celebrity all the same). So being on TV I guess is the only way she knows how to make money. She has decided to document her illness on TV.

However, do not push your illness in the face of so many other cancer sufferers, who have not got the ability, contacts or money to hire Max Clifford (who evidently I cannot stand) and invite press to come visit them in hospital, and then sell your story to the highest bidder. Yes I salute her for continuing to work as many other cancer sufferers wouldn't work, but I just feel it is ever so tacky and offensive to those of us who just have to live with what we have.

The celebrity culture is exploited so much, that it gets to the point, where people seem to become completely irrational. This stunt being one of them.

I was watching Richard and Judy today (ssshh, they're good!!!) and Max Clifford was being interviewed on there, and I could seriously tell, that what he was saying was all completely scripted and was another PR campaign for him. It drove me insane!.

Many people have said things against Jade's actions, however they are being slated all over the place for having their views, which brings me onto my next point.

Before Jade Goody was known as the celebrity as cancer, she was known as Jade Goody the racist girl with the unsuccessful business and a kebab. It's funny how the moment someone becomes ill, the sun shines out of their a**. People should not have to change their opinion about someone, because they are ill. People used to call ehr a media whore. Is this not a prime example of it? You may think I'm cold hearted and have no feelings whatsoever, but believe me I do. Like I said, I have every bit of sympathy for her and her family, but what I do not appreciate is exploitation of media and celebrity culture, to persuade the way in which we feel.

She says she is doing this also to raise awareness of cervical cancer. Great idea! 20% more women have gone to hospitals for screening since Jade went public. If it's for awareness, do you really need to sell EVERY story to the highest bidder everytime. Yes make money for your kids and family. But do not take the piss.

I have had people in my family die of cancer. My grandmother has suffered from it for the past 28 years. And hell it's hard to watch people go through the problems and side effects they have to go through, so I feel for the family and everyone I really do.

But Jade, live the final months of your life with dignity and enjoy what you have with your children and soon to be husband. Reflect on the good times you have had together. Embrace every moment you have with your kids. Don't a) tire yourself out from all the work you are doing, b) miss out on quality time with the children and c) exploit the media and society the way you are. Thank you for raising awareness of cervical cancer, I'm sure you've saved many lives. But I'm sure you've also made a damn lot of money. Enough is enough, don't you think?.

It's things like the video below, that really does need to be dealt with on a personal basis. There's enough "normal mortals out there dealing with the same situation without it being pushed straight back into our faces again.

WARNING: This video, is actually quite emotional. Even brought a tear to my eye.

And the Winners Are....

2009-02-18T17:07:00.000-08:00

Here are the winners for this year's Brit Awards, held at London's Earls Court on 18 February. (Winners in bold)

Best British male
Ian Brown
James Morrison
The Streets
Paul Weller
Will Young

Best British female
Adele
Beth Rowley
Duffy
Estelle
MIA

Best British group
Coldplay
Elbow
Girls Aloud
Radiohead
Take That

Best British live act
Coldplay
Elbow
Iron Maiden
Scouting For Girls
The Verve

Best British single
Coldplay - Viva La Vida
Duffy - Mercy
Girls Aloud - The Promise
Leona Lewis - Better in Time
Scouting for Girls - Heartbeat

Best British Album
Coldplay - Viva La Vida or Death And All His Friends
Duffy - Rockferry
Elbow - The Seldom Seen Kid
Radiohead - In Rainbows
The Ting Tings - We Started Nothing

Best British breakthrough act
Adele
Duffy
Last Shadow Puppets
Scouting For Girls
The Ting Tings

Best international album
AC/DC - Black Ice
Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes
Killers - Day & Age
Kings of Leon - Only By The Night
MGMT - Oracular Spectacular

Best international male
Beck
Neil Diamond
Jay-Z
Kanye West
Seasick Steve

Best international female
Beyonce
Gabriella Cilmi
Katy Perry
Pink
Santogold

Best international group
AC/DC
Fleet Foxes
Killers
Kings of Leon
MGMT

Critics' Choice: Florence and the Machine

Outstanding Contribution To Music: Pet Shop Boys.

Duffy Duffy Duffy. I really don't like your songs. Seriously. And I honestly think that you winning 3 awards is going to drive Estelle and Adele up the wall! You caused enough arguments last time you won something. Just stop singing so damn much! You actually sound like a 5 year old child when you sing and it's quite scary. Saying this, no one can complain for her winning what she has won. These awards are apparently voted for by the general public, which would therefore mean that the big bosses at the Brits have NOTHING to do with the final result..YA THINK????!!! .

Below, is a video of the most fantastic PSB (Pet Shop Boys that is!). They performed a medley of some rather fantastic tunes and were joined by the upcoming sensation the is Lady Gaga and by the kind of good looking Brandon Flower (what a surname!). Saying this, I have no idea why there were there! They sang the same 4 words, 3 times and that was it :-/. But anyway an outstanding performance from PSB (who incidentally, have had 39 top 30 singles, 22 top ten hits in the UK, oh and4 number ones) and a well deserved award.

And The Nominees For The Brits 2009 are...

2009-02-18T13:52:00.000-08:00

Best British male
Ian Brown
James Morrison
The Streets
Paul Weller
Will Young

Best British female
Adele
Beth Rowley
Duffy
Estelle
MIA

Best British group
Coldplay
Elbow
Girls Aloud
Radiohead
Take That

Best British live act
Coldplay
Elbow
Iron Maiden
Scouting For Girls
The Verve

Best British single
Coldplay - Viva La Vida
Duffy - Mercy
Girls Aloud - The Promise
Leona Lewis - Better in Time
Scouting for Girls - Heartbeat

Best British Album
Coldplay - Viva La Vida or Death And All His Friends
Duffy - Rockferry
Elbow - The Seldom Seen Kid
Radiohead - In Rainbows
The Ting Tings - We Started Nothing

Best British breakthrough act
Adele
Duffy
Last Shadow Puppets
Scouting For Girls
The Ting Tings

Best international album
AC/DC - Black Ice
Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes
Killers - Day & Age
Kings of Leon - Only By The Night
MGMT - Oracular Spectacular

Best international male
Beck
Neil Diamond
Jay-Z
Kanye West
Seasick Steve

Best international female
Beyonce
Gabriella Cilmi
Katy Perry
Pink
Santogold

Best international group
AC/DC
Fleet Foxes
Killers
Kin
MGMT

Critics' Choice: Florence and the Machine

Outstanding Contribution To Music: Pet Shop Boys

The RETURN of the Routemaster!!!

2009-02-18T09:53:00.001-08:00

I was reading my best friend's blog Make A Bus earlier, and he mentioned that the Routemaster, one thing that represented London so well, is to make a return by 2011. And so it should I say! I refer you back to an old blog of mine, about my nightmare on the BENDY BUS, or as Ka-os calls it, the free bus.

As convenient as these buses were for the wheelchair users,as well as mothers with space ships for pushchairs, oh and how can we forget the fair jumping scum of society, it was actually the most annoying bus for the majority of the public - NON BUS USERS INCLUDED! You can't cross the road because the bus decides to rest it's 18 meter long self across the pedestrian crossing. It causes one hell of a traffic jam, because it crosses a whole damn junction Not only is this bus a nuisance, it is also one dangerous vehicle, let me tell you.

According to a report by TfL to the London Assembly, bendy buses cause 5.6 pedestrian injuries per million miles operated (and lets face it, a bus probably operates a damn load of miles), compared with just 2.6 for all other buses. They're involved in more "collisions" with cyclists than other buses and have more accidents generally than bigger buses.

This bendy bus is probably one thing making the least amount of revenue for the city, due to it's inconvenience and danger to London.

So moan over about the bendy bus and HOORAY for the Routemaster and well done Boris (although we all know you're trying to steal some political points here). The routemaster is so good in many ways. It takes up less damn space for one! And it also gives me a laugh when the stupid school kids think they look uber cool (I love the word uber right now!) jumping off the bus before it hits the bus stop, and they end up falling on their face.

Now who's the idiot you mongrel - go home and do whatever it is you kids do these days!.

It's harsh, I know, but something has to keep my day going!

ADAM KHADAROO

2009-02-16T16:26:00.000-08:00

OK so, I was on MSN talking away to whoever i feel like talking to and ignoring others, when I got a message from someone that I spoke to only once and very briefly a long time ago. We got talking and started talking about our work, from which I found out he is a photographer. I asked to see some of his work, and what I saw, was something that was so refreshing to the eyes, and such a work of art - and from someone who has only been professional for 2 months! Please show some admiration, to Adam Khadaroo. Please do click here to view the pictures in their true glory

She's so Controversial! But I Love it!

2009-02-16T12:22:00.000-08:00

This song got on my bloody nerves when it first came out. Seriously. It was on the radio virtually every two minutes or on MTV, TMF, E4 and all those other music thingys.

But a friend of mine told me to listen to the words and I'd love it, and low and behold, I do.

Little Lily (I had to type her name 5 times before I spelt it correctly by the way) was born to be controversial. She literally doesn't give a s***. It's great!

Ladies, gents, and others, I give you The Fear

Apparently I'm Racist

2009-02-15T19:59:00.000-08:00

Ok. So I was talking to a friend of mine today (well for most of the day) about life etc etc. And we came to the subject of sexual relations. Oh by the way, he's white and incase you didn't know (or you're colour blind) I'm black. I asked him if he's ever slept with a black man. He said yes, he's slept with many cultures before. Good on him! He then proceeded to ask me if I've slept with white guys. I said yes. In fact, I say I've only ever slept with white guys.

Bare with me on this one. My friend then asked me why, and the honest straight forward answer, is because I don't find many black men attractive. I just haven't got a physical preference to all black men. Someway, somehow, my friend decided that I was racist.

I laughed at the comment and carried on chatting, but it has kind of disturbed me a bit and got me a little angry. It's not the first time I've heard someone say it to me either. In fact some people have said to me that I'm not racist, I'm hypocritical and not proud of my heritage.

Now, I am very proud of my heritage, but sleeping or going out with someone of my colour, does not define me as a person. I do not need to sleep with someone of my colour to prove that pride or to prove myself to anyone.

I guess I'm just writing this to get my anger out and to say how much it annoyed me once I had realised what he had said.

So, do my thoughts make me a racist? A hypocrite? A bounty? Am I not proud of my heritage and culture? Is it not just down to personal preference and personal observations?? And is the fact that I find the look of black skin against white skin oh so sexy a bad thing??!!!!

Who would've known!

2009-02-15T08:02:00.000-08:00

I spoke to a friend today who mentioned something to me that is quite sensitive to most of the world: The Swastika. Yes that would be the symbol used by the Nazis during WW2.

Apparently one of his friends had it tattooed on his arm last week, and now my friend is reluctant to stay friendly with him. It spurred me on to do some research on what exactly the Swastika is meant to represent, and to be honest it came up with some rather interesting facts about the symbol.

We all know that the Swastika is a VERY powerful symbol. Used by the Nazis to murder millions of people and to promote their beliefs. However for centuries before this, it was a positive symbol. So what is this history of the Swastika? And what does it represent today to people? Good or evil??..

Used for over 3,000 years (dating even before the Egyption Ankh), the Swastika was used by ancient cultures in China, Japan, India and Southern Europe. It was a symbol of peace.

(Left) Swastika, representing a symbol of peace.

In the 1800s, countries around Germany were getting bigger and becoming empires, yet Germany was not unified until 1871. To counter the stigma of youth, nationalists in Germany used the Swastika, as it had India/Aryan origins, to represent Germanic/Aryan history.

Then Hitler came along. And in wanting to keep a Germanic/Aryan history and race, he used the Swastika as a symbol to represent his beliefs and to represent "Germany's struggle". This in turn has caused the symbol to have negative effects on the world.

(Left, the Swastika as used by Hitler and his Nazi regime)
Now some people have said to me that as the symbol was originally used for peace and used by many Buddhists, Buddhists, should the symbol as their own and attempt to repatriate it to its original meaning -for example, gay people use the rainbow flag or the pink triangle.

Now I have to disagree with this argument. Whatever it's history, it is remembered by the generation of today and yesteryear as "Nazi", "Holocaust" and many other negative terms.
The fact that the Nazis had such a big impact on the world, as far as I'm concerned means they have redefined the symbol. You can't reclaim the symbol of the whole regime - what would it be signifying? The pink triangle you can (although I'm not really very keen on it), because it's a symbol of the oppressed, not the oppressor. (For those of you who don't know, the pink triangle was used in Nazi camps to identify homosexuals)

The pink triangle, used in concentration camps to identify homosexuals.

Lets use an AWFUL AWFUL analogy here: A black man may call himself or his black friends nigger, but he is not going to walk around wearing KKK emblems is he??

There'll no doubt be a difference based on where you are in the world too. If it's a Buddhist symbol then it'll be seen differently in a part of the world with a Buddhist tradition. Europe isn't one of them, hardly anyone had seen it before Germany started to use it, so that's what it means here.Even if it was another symbol, I'd be a bit suspicious of a religious symbol being used (I'm guessing) outside the religion. In which case you could justify it by saying it just looked nice, but I'm also guessing the religious stuff will be used to justify a swastika. People's reactions to "oh, I just like it" about a swastika would be interesting though, don't you think???

A Media Rant!

2009-02-09T22:51:00.000-08:00

OK So I used towork in media (even though i hate the industry!) and i’m looking at the beeb (that’s the BBC for those of you who don’t know) and I find out that they’re focusing on freedom of speech to celebrate 75 years of BBC World Service (what a celebration that will be!!)

I It got me thinking…We all know that newspapers love to sensationalise and sometimes mislead their consumers…how do they get away with it??? Is this the unfortunate cost of press freedom?? What are the arguments FOR press freedom?? In terms of arguments for, a lot of media savvy’s (snotty b*****ds i like to call them) think that press freedom equates to the right of self expression…great!! fantastic!! If we never had that right, I would not be able to air my views like I am now. However…as far as I’m concerned, you cannot apply this theory to that of powerful insitutions like Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp (sorry Rupert, I know you own this site, but you know I’m right ). If you’re going to apply something like that to insitutions, then consider this…as individuals, we are powerless and we can do harm if we are careless about our accuracy.
We don’t allow major companies like Sainsbury’s or British Airways to be inaccurate about their products.

However there are even laws for us against slander, inciting hatred and libel. Now if insitutions like the media were casual about accuracy, it can cause a great load of damage to the reputation of individuals and to that of large insitutions and communities. If the powerful conglomerates of the media today had unconditional freedom of speech, they would easily be able to be inaccuracies, causing great damage to others and therefore undermining democracy…so all that rubbish about press freedom being like freedom of speech is frankly UNREAL…i don’t care how fashionable it is!

Speaking of democracy..again the media savvy’s think that press freedom appeals to the needs of democracy…again…and to be honest ..think about it…democracy would needs a press that can inform it’s citizens ACCURTAELY! And of course if requirements for accuracy were too tightly drawn then frankly think the press would be intimidated. And no one can be sure of getting everything correct even with the zealous “Fact-checking”… Frankly I think that the whole press freedom thing is unjustified! The government have a HUGE influence over the media (which i hope we all know)…and personally, I think that the press is there, to help the government influence the way in which society develops…as the views and morals of the government and the press changes so will the minds of some individuals (i.e those who rely on nothing but the press for their facts!).

However, I would like to think that society is developed enough to be able to have their own views, opinions and morals in life! Why should we have to live life the way society expects us to!?! We are afterall INDIVIDUALS!! Slightly of track there, but hey..I’M RANDOM!! :D

OK....I'M BACK

2009-01-27T20:23:00.000-08:00

Well slap me round the face and call me Mildred. I'm back. With a bit more drive than before! I hope you haven't missed me too much.

I haven't actually got an excuse for not keeping you people updated. I've just been lazy. Sorry.

So I guess we have a lot to catch up on don't we? Well not a lot has happened really. Christmas came, it went. New Years came, it went. Winter came...and is STILL here like a bad smell!.

But fear not! The cold winter season will soon end (thank god) and to be honest some good things have happened...GOODBYE BUSH...HELLO OBAMA! (Can you tell I didn't quite like Bush?).

Interest rates went down to an all time low! Horray for spenders, BOO for savers!

I actually can't think of anything else good that happened! Lots of sad things have happened, but I don't really want to go through sad things on my blog.

But anyway, I'm back fresh and with a mission! To speak to you guys more! Keep in touch people and we'll go from here! Lets see what fun we get up to eh?! ;-)

Oh deary me...

2008-09-26T10:47:00.000-07:00

Looks like there's a HUGE outrage over the fact that Heaven has been taken over by none other that G-A-Y! Now here's a quote from a rather dear friend of mine John Gough..

"let’s hope Jeremy makes a success of it, so we can celebrate his good fortune"

This is the problem I think. As much as there are A LOT of G-A-Y lovers out there, Heaven has made it's name from being the exact opposite of G-A-Y! When would you ever hear Beenie Man playing in G-A-Y? Would you ever hear Steps playing in the Dakota Room in Heaven? No!

This is what differentiated the two venues! I honestly feel that Jeremy will see Heaven as a place to continue with the same thing he was doing at Astoria (which i add consists of nights like "Camp Attack" and others along those lines. It's all good and well having your brand, every business needs one. However to turn one of London's biggest clubs into what will basically be a children's playground (cos lets face it...it's kids that go to G-A-Y these days) is just totally disrespecting the needs of the community.

It's not just about good fortune. This whole process I seriously think will cause a knock on effect to the community. Think about the kind of people that go to Heaven and the kind that go to G-A-Y...mostly black people in Heaven and mostly white guys in G-A-Y..As a community, we are already separatist in the sense that we can't even go out to the same club! Now when G-A-Y take over Heaven and just say for instance they do bring what they did at the Astoria to Heaven...how is that gonna go down in the community? Think about it...those who go to Heaven are just gonna feel like they're being "run out" by the G-A-Y brand and ultimately by Jeremy.

I'm rambling now, but seriously...I don't think it's the brightest move to be made by Jeremy or by the owners of Heaven!

Let's get straight to the point

2008-09-25T19:56:00.000-07:00

These were made..for ME!!

The never ending dilema of...

2008-09-23T04:22:00.000-07:00

Birthday presents....Is it me, or as people get older, it gets harder and harder to think of a decent present for them? Yesterday was my mum's birthday...she turned 21 for the 19th time.

I sat at home...wondering..contemplating..thinking.."What the hell am I going to get her?!"
It was soo easy when people were young! 15th birthday you get them a game. 16th their first packet of cigarettes (JOKE). 18th they get a bottle of something alcoholic. 21st..well by then they're old and ugly enough to do what they want.

I asked her what she wanted. She said "Suprise me". So I suprised her...and got her nothing. I'm running out of things to buy for people for their birthday! If you think that some of the people in my life I've known all my life. So I've been through 20 odd birthdays of these people now! There's only soo much you can get people right???

What did you get your mummy on her last birthday???

Quote of the Day

2008-09-17T19:44:00.000-07:00

Saw this quote in a book today and it REALLY make a lot of sense and kinda got me thinking. Can you only ever blame yourself for the things that happen in your life?

"Actions have consequences...First rule of life. And the second rule is this - You are the only person responsible for your actions."

Could you have made things so much different in your life, had you thought that the outcome is purely going to be down to your actions and your actions alone...no one else has an influence on the consequences. Just you. Yes you. Yes I am pointing to YOU looking at the screen!

It also spurs me to be more decisive in my life choices. No point in saying "I don't know". you need to make a descision, based on..consequences.

But hey just thought I'd check in and give you a motivational quote to start the day off!

Pickle me this..Pickle me that

2008-09-15T08:47:00.000-07:00

This is a cool thing here! Pickle Public Relations. (I love the name!)

They're a great PR agency, who do PR for new dsigner fashion and for hair and beauty.

They've worked with the likes of Toni and Guy and Hair and Jerome!

So if you work in hair, beauty or maybe starting your own fashion line..what you waiting for?! Go speak go speak!

www.picklepr.blogspot.com

And they use MACs!!!

picklepr@mac.com

Oh and the owner is a bit of a dish too!!

Purchase number 1 for the week..

2008-09-14T16:01:00.000-07:00

I bought a t-shirt today..here's a picture

Isn't it nice? :D

The ex torlly dolly and the BENDY BUS nightmare!

2008-09-14T10:19:00.000-07:00

OK. So the weekend is over..so damn quickly! I went to Nottingham to spend some time with some lovely important people in my life. Had a great time and can’t wait to see them again. Anyway I’m coming home from a great weekend and I get to Liverpool Street station. London Underground have decided to take up tracks on a busy weekend (which makes no sense to me cos weekends are ALWAYS busy) so I have to get to sunny Stratford station. Fine by me…then I decide I need to get a bus to get home. I go out the station and hey presto there’s a number 25 bus waiting for me..I run (i don’t usually run for transport but i wanted to get home) and jump on what is a rather busy bus..I’m standing by the doors of this stupidly bendy bus! then we stop at a bus stop…the doors open…and a rather BIG family decide to BARGE their way through onto the bus…and when I say barge I mean barge!

A woman was getting off the bus with a buggy, yet they insisted on pushing and pushing..and LAUGHING about it! The wife pushed into me.Now I know sometimes you can’t help bumping into people, but whatever you do..DO NOT PUSH ME!!! I gave this woman and her husband the dirtiest possible look so that they got the message…she looks away..then does it AGAIN! So I said to the husband “Am I invisible?” to which he just looked at me and giggled. It was like this for A LOT of the journey…to the point where i decided I’d be better off walking to Ilford and save my humility!

Why am I telling you this story??? Well..i’m an ex trolley dolly (flight attendant to you Americans)..I’m used to organised seats and gliding down the aisles…I’m used to aluminium tubes…NOW KEN IF YOU’RE READING THIS, LISTEN CAREFULLY…BENDY BUSES ARE USELESS!! Public transport is a NIGHTMARE! I am rather misanthropic (as is a very dear friend of mine so he will feel my pain!)..yet Ken, you don’t seem to take us misanthropic people into consideration!!! Maybe I am turning into a miserable old man before my time, but personally I CAN’T BARE THE PUBLIC (unless they're irresistably gorgeous men :D)

I pay bloody good money in tax to “IMPROVE” our transport system and I don’t see why I, who was born and bred in this country (as well as my parents) should have to suffer at the hands of naive people! It just ain’t on mate!! Moan OVER

Dating Diary is now open....

2008-09-13T14:44:00.000-07:00

So I've sat here today thinking about people I've gone out on dates with (there aren't that many honestly!) I think the majority was just for fun, but there are two or three guys that were shall we say "serious"...although for me to go on a date with anyone, I guess there was some kind of potential between us. Looking back though...for most of them..what was I thinking???!!

Friends have said to me "Oh you're going on the rebound." You know the one. Go out on a date just to prove to the last guy you dated that you can get anyone..or to just distance yourself completely from him. You think of all the things he used to do (stupid things like he farts or he burps) just for an excuse to hate him! I haven't done it for a while (mainly cos I haven't dated to god knows how long). But the last time I did it, it was me buying into shallowness and the power of face value.

So i started talking to my friend about it over a few sherry's and it wasn't until then that I thought to myself..whoever it is up there who has an influence on my relationships, must REALLY not like me! Cos either a) They want to be "just friends" or b) They are NOTHING like they seemed before I met them! This is going to sound so big headed, but sometimes, I think it's my maturity that scares them off. I'm young...definitely. I look it too. But my mind is on another level, and I seriously think that some men get scared off by the fact someone my age can be as mature as I am. Baring in mind that I usually always go for older men too. I can't do younger guys or guys my age. They just haven't got the same kind of depth as I would like and they're like kids anyway.

I have a friend who is like the boyfriend I never had. I am both physically and mentally attracted to him. Yes he is older, but he has inspired me in ways I can not describe. In fact, if it wasn't for him, this blog wouldn't be here now. He inspired me to write (as rubbish as I may be at it)! And superficially. Well..SEX ON LEGS is all I can say. Think I'm going weak at the knees just thinking about it! Apparently he feels the same way about me, but the problem is he has a bf...so there's no chance of that happening anytime soon! If I knew he was going to become single anytime soon..I would wait wait and wait to have him to myself!!

Anyway! Since I can't see into the future and I don't really want to see my friend go through bad break ups, I've decided to open up my "dating diary" and start filling it up! I've not dated for so so long so this should be pretty interesting! Maybe I should practice on my friend!

I've decided I need to put myself out there as it were. Maybe through the use of dating sites. But I have no idea which one. I like a masculine man, but also partial to a pretty boy. In other words, I'm not fussy! So I'm using the following websites!

Fitlads
Adam4Adam
Gaydar
Manhunt

And if you fancy being one of my guinea pigs for my dating practice, leave a comment, telling me what we'd do on our date. Best idea gets to MEET ME!! (not)

I have NO idea how well it's going to go, but I will most DEFINITELY keep you posted!

That dreadful feeling that you're loosing someone....

2008-09-11T17:15:00.000-07:00

You ever get that feeling? You know..when things just seem that teeny weeny bit different between you and a special someone.

It’s not the best of feelings is it? And you obviously want to get this matter sorted.
But how do you approach your friend about this? What if your friend is not feeling the same?

The reason for all of this is because I’ve been speaking to a friend recently and conversations have gone a bit..downhill shall we say…conversation is awkward…for me anyway. There seems to be the good old msn silence.
FOR A LONG TIME!

Have we run out of things to say to eachother? Have we lost interest in eachother? Most of my friends are my friends because they have depth and I have an interest in their lives, views so on and so fourth. I should be able to not speak to them for a week, then get in touch with them and we both have quite a bit to say to eachother.
I would’ve hoped!

But when me and this friend of mine have had our conversations recently…it’s something I’m not liking. We seem distant from eachother.
Maybe our interests lie somewhere else? But I don’t want it to get to that!!!!

I seriously believe that you can “break up” from friends, but this is a friend that I don’t want it to happen with. However I feel like I’m slowly losing someone who is one of the closest friends I have..(those of you close to me, probably know who this certain someone is…)

How do you avoid this potential “break-up”? How do you approach someone about something like this, which is pretty serious. What if they think differently.
Does this make things even MORE awkward between you? Am I over reacting? Is it jealousy?

I’m rambling now…so gonna shut up! But was GREAT getting it off ma chest!

Hmmmm..I’ll let you know of any developments in this!!

The supporting cast..

2008-09-10T21:18:00.000-07:00

Ok so while I get used to this whole new world of "blogging" (who on earth came up with that word??), I thought I'd better introduce you to some of the people in my life and if it wasn't for these guys, there would probably be nothing for me to write about.

The Mother and Father - The mother and father I've known for about 20 odd years now. Lived with them. Argued with them. Laughed. The usual! But they are two of the most influential people in my life and like bro and sis. But that's all you need to know really. Audience, Mum and Dad. Mum and Dad, Audience.

Ka-os: We should have met in our previous lives and probably married eachother and lived happily ever after. He's the boyfriend I never had. My voice of sanity and reason in this crazy city...but the best part is, he gets me without any judgment whatsoever...something I've come to value in people I keep close to me.

Liamyul: Liamyul is the one person who lives within a 5 mile radius of my house who is considered a true friend of mine. We tell eachother everything, have MAD nights out, argue over which men we think are hot or not and so on and so fourth! Expect a lot of fun with this one!

And Breathe....

2008-09-08T18:54:00.000-07:00

This is it...this is is..I've finally taken the plunge! Decided to write...to you lot of all people!

It's actually 3.00am on a Tuesday night/Wednesday morning and I'm sat here listening to Buddah Bar on my iTunes and I've decided to come up with a blog. WHY??!

Did something MAJOR happen in my life today?? Have I just come out of a terrible relationship and I need to let my feelings known?? Am I stupidly drunk or out of my head on drugs? Well the answer to all those questions, in a word is..No...The real reason why I've started this is pretty straight forward..BOREDOM! That's it really..bored out of my tree so I thought I'd let you guys be bored with me.

So let me introduce myself. Mid 20's, male, gay, single (still) and looking (still), live in sunny London Town. Anything else you wish to know, questions on a postcard please. Just underneath these basics, I'm actually a very nice person, love meeting new people, eager to be happy in my life and what I do and can't wait to experience what life has to offer me.

Having not done the university thing (and never really wanting to) I've been stuck in the mad rat race for all of my teenage life. Done plenty, still want to do more. And this was one of them as a matter of fact. So yay me! Another item to tick off the list.

Anyway, follow me as we experience, parties, fashion, men, drink, friends and drama. This may be a life you'd want to live. Or not.

I intend to remain completely anonymous throughout this blog...but I thought I'd just let you have a glimpse of me...so if you ever see this arm/ leg or wristband about town..say hi!